Today marks the very first time my husband and I have ventured into a gym together. Usually I get my exercise from walking the dog, but given the terrible weather lately that hasn’t been an option. So twenty minutes on the exercise bike it was! If only upright bikes had wider seats; I had to go recumbent, which is not very comfortable either, given the whole legs-constantly-bumping-into-bump thing. The baby was vaguely concerned about the jostling but mostly slept through it, at least.
And now my husband is washing our dog. I love listening to him do this. I love the whole process of bathing the dog, which generally goes like this:
1) Mommybird gathers up Ladybird’s bedding and beloved blue blanket and throws them into the washing machine, thus designating that Sometime Today, the Dog Will Be Clean.
2) Daddybird forgets he is supposed to wash the dog.
3) Mommybird reminds him.
4) Daddybird says, “Laaaaaaaaadybird, do you want to take a bath?” in the most excited tones possible.
5) The dog retreats to her corner of the couch.
6) Daddybird repeats his not-quite-an-invitation.
7) The dog’s ears go back; her tail tucks underneath her; she attempts to disappear into the couch.
8) Daddybird gathers the dog into his arms, still extolling the virtues of bathtime.
9) The dog attempts to escape Daddybird’s arms. Sometimes she is successful, and steps 4-8 repeat themselves.
10) The dog looks longingly at Mommybird, who stalwartly ignores her.
11) Daddybird carries the dog off to the bathroom.
12) Mommybird sits at the computer or in her chair with her book or basically doing anything that isn’t bathing the dog.
13) Mommybird hears, wafting from the guest bathroom, a tireless and sometimes tuneless song about Ladybird being given a bath, and how she is a good girl NO NO NO NO oh what a good girl she is she is such a good girl NO NO NOT YET oh what a pretty girl she is.
14) The faucet is turned off and Mommybird is treated to an encore performance of “what a good girl she is.”
15) Daddybird announces, “Crazy dog!” and a split second behind the announcement the dog comes careening through the house, heedlessly bouncing off furniture and walls, trying to find a safe place amidst the cruel, cruel sight of her pack alphas.
She’s outside now to dry, which she is less than pleased about, but on the other hand it’s sunny and she loves the sun. I’m sure she’s only clawing at the door because she thinks it sounds cool.
Bathtime with the baby is going to be so much fun.